This was an unusual morning for me – pack lunches, take kids to school through really bad construction traffic where we were held up for :20 as they grind down the road bed for repaving, try to help Laura who is sick in bed. Get home, and there are still dishes from last night. Why are there dishes from last night?
There are several answers to that question. Laura came home cooked dinner, wonderful marinated chicken for me to grill and broccoli casserole … and promptly got sick. She is now up in bed, OK? I am giving Evan his spelling test, grilling chicken, having the kids set the table outside as it such a beautiful day. Chicken was done and I had the casserole in my hands being held by the small handles through pot-holders. The thought crossed my mind, “I should have Cailin get the door open for me.” I promptly decided I was up to the challenge and reached for the door handle. The slippery dish fell out of my hands with no problem smashing to the floor - broccoli casserole and broken pottery are now all over, right down into the floor heating vent and onto a floor rug. I spend the next :30 cleaning while the kids eat – taking the long way around to the front door to get in and out of the house as the back is totally blocked by the mess. At lease my boys had their first unsupervised experience in grilling chicken. First load of laundry is Laura’s clothes from being sick and floor rug.
Jackson is to have his first experience putting Cailin to bed as Laura groans from the other room while I go off to swimming for Evan. I come back late, after 9, only to be told by Jackson that our dog Buddy has thrown up as he was eating rabbit droppings in the back yard – and I thought our dog was smart. Second load of laundry goes in the washer, no time to do dishes.
Thankfully, at swimming, I read Renovation of the Heart. One of Willard’s points was that we sin because we are sinners. It isn’t that we just happened to do one bad thing, but that we are bad – it comes from who we are. I can tell you that some of the thoughts that went through my mind and attitudes I had through the evening proved that point very well. I did not blow up, I did not swear, everything looked okay on the outside. But my spiritual reality was not what it should be because I am not who I should be. Perhaps God refined me through a sick wife, rabbit dropping eating dog, and huge kitchen mess more than 2.5 Bible studies and 5 praise choruses. That is spiritual formation, God wants to point us to who we are on the inside so he can remake and remove and reform. Am I totally surrendered to God, seeking him above all else - my own pleasure, status or ease? Did I clean and drive kids and all that remembering that God plans my days, that God was in control or was I thinking of all the things I would rather and should be doing instead? When nobody sees, do I live to bring glory to God even in the midst of frustrating circumstances?