Thinking about emotions, and love and the interrelation between these and work and discipline continue to work into the fabric of Laura and my lives. One of the latest examples, is helping our kids find a path of love and discipline. Some things you just have to do – like my taking out the garbage tomorrow. It does not matter how I feel about it, it has to be done (not my favorite task but I can give myself good reasons to feel positive about this job like the smelly result of not doing it).
Other things we need to choose because we love it – like hobbies, spouses, musical instruments we play, and, we hope, our vocation. And in this, let’s remember that it was only a few generations ago when most people did not have a choice - you were born into something. If you could go back to do a survey I bet you would find many of them were happier with their jobs than most of us. But back to our subject…
When we choose things we love to do, we are motivated to work and excel. We are much more likely
to find success. Have you seen that show on food network, “The Ace of Cakes?” They make these totally radical cakes, like nine feet tall replicas of the Empire State Building or a realistic stereo cake for the opening of Ken’s Audio Discount Center. They are amazing cakes. You watch the staff with unmatched dedication and enthusiasm attend to every creative detail. Nobody could make edible masterpieces like these without loving the process of making a great cake.
Now I have gone on beyond what I meant to write about. What I started to write about was how Laura and I are learning to work with our kids to find what they love, and set them on a course to pursue it. It started with Cailin, our ballet dancer. Her love of moving to music has propelled her to be an extraordinary dancer. If you do not mind me saying so, she stands out on her talent with girls two years older. She has found a gifting and a passion. I have often said to Laura that I so long for each of our boys to find something like Cailin’s ballet.
Evan has been through gymnastics, climbing (he is an amazing climber), fencing, soccer, and more. You could just tell that none of them took him to a new place, many he complained about, and others faded out over time. So we kept trying. Evan has started swimming, and everything is different. He gives the 110% naturally I only lectured about and longed to see him give in soccer games. There is desire behind every stroke. He has found it! We are thrilled!
Now, I know that it is not as simple as that. But love must drive discipline and you must persevere even on a day you do not feel like it. That said, how many times did Michael Jordan ever talk about being tired of basketball? I want my kids to find those things where they can be like that. There will be days where Cailin or Evan are going to ballet or swimming respectively, no matter how they feel because they have made a commitment (although we have not had to even have that discussion yet). But as parents, we are commited to helping our kids find what they love, and then teach and coach the discipline needed to keep at it, keep practicing, keep working to be the best. Laura and I are committed to nothing less, and for that we can thank the journey of listening to our hearts.